May 17, 2023
While I was praying for several verses of the Word which the Holy Spirit ‘highlighted’, I found how God’s hand seemed to ‘do surgery’ on my heart and He exposed my heart’s being before His presence.
Without I realize it, apparently there has been a change in attitude or condition of my heart in my life. Without realizing it, I began to think that prayer, worship, or reading the Word was a ‘necessity’, only an ‘obligation’ because of my being as a servant of God who guards many other servants of God.
The motivation of my heart when I pray and so on is ‘so I can function as I should’ not because I really love Him.
For most people, maybe that is a ‘normal’ attitude of heart, but I have learned to always ’say amen’ in whatever is the admonishment from the Holy Spirit. That’s what is called the spirit of repentance. I accept whatever admonishment the Holy Spirit gives, doesn’t matter for others, it is something that is ‘ordinary’, ‘normal’ or ‘natural’. But if from ‘God’s side’ start to make a problem of it, then it means, I have to change!
I am truly grateful to find that there is no more effort for ‘self-defense’ or ‘giving excuses or explanations’ that arises from my mind related to the admonishment of the Spirit that I face.
I am grateful because I can quickly repent and change in His presence. Something that I discover, oftentimes it becomes a struggle or a problem on its own for many people.
People tend to make excuses, then blame the situation, circumstances and so on. The nature of the first human who has fallen into sin – Genesis 3:11-13.
Psalm 51:6 (NIV) : Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
When I received the admonishment of the Holy Spirit, I was again reminded of a vision He had given me:
I saw myself before the Father’s throne and I heard the Holy Spirit say: “Offer something you have to the King.”
At that time I thought, I will present the fruits of ministry that I have made for the King. But the Holy Spirit said ”It is My work, not yours”
When I reconsider to offer something else, I discovered that I don’t have anything because since my youth I have dedicated my entire life to serve Him.
But again the Holy Spirit said “Offer what you have to the King.”
When I notice my whereabouts, I seem to see something in the shape of a ‘heart’.
Ps. Steven Agustinus
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